Focused

-->

Four corners recesses

Mind eye’s glory

Infested

Clean purge manifest it

Full fueled up

Empties drop

lift off

Lift up

To the side

Mile high

Drinks up

Toasted

Deep sigh

Coast clear

Veggies roasted

Jet skis full throttle

Island posted

Another year

New model

focused

Inside

Battle wages

Knee high

Rattled cages

Pressure piped up

Diamonds

Funnels

Faded

Crystals

Mach 1

No rentals

Back to the Fundamentals

Simply stated

Ravenous

The thought of yester years

Sparked the tears that made her clearer

Pain welded the resolve stronger

I kissed her cheek and grew fonder

How much longer?

Will she unlock this gift I see?

Devil touched her young

To kill a spirit so full before it is realized

Her heart so big

She feels it all

Only way to cope is to bury it

So deep it’s cavernous

Spirits ravenous

Why do we let them inhabit us?

Grave danger

Their hunger our souls devour

Wash away this hurt
May the fighting spirit reside in us

Bring forth the light

We took flight and gave thanks

From the banks of the river Jordan

Adorn the gifts he laid for us 

Be within me Oh God

Guide us with the spirit I thank thee

Oh please

Wipe the evil from your eyes

Come see with me.

Word Around Town

"When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars." ~Edgar Watson Howe

I never really trusted the word around town
Because if its heard around town
From a little bird around town
It’s likely the information isn’t sound.
And that’s hard to tell because word travels so fast
So and so is this and
So and so is that
Putting all their business on blast.
It’s cool until it happens to you,
You pout for a day or two.
Vow to never succumb to the gossip
Because at the end of the day no one profits.
Just broken hearts and reputations,
“It’s no one’s business, when or with whom I had relations.”
But when the hurt fades,
And the jilt of your slandered name goes away,
Its back to the basics, like you never changed.
A wise man once said,
“What you don’t witness with your eyes,
Don’t witness with your mouth.”
But of course, that’s just the word around town.

Caroline (Unifinished)

I never knew her name I'll call her Caroline,
Super fine she took the same route as mine.
I'd catch myself day dreaming until the sun set.
Night fall dreaming about when I may see her next.
She caught the early train once or twice a week,
I'd wonder if she was leaving her man's place up the street.
Or did she go to work early because she's ambitious,
Fighting for that promotion,
Making her quota,
Or maybe her schedule switches.
I worked up the courage to approach, I even said a prayer,
But inevitably the train would open and she's not there.
We exchanged a subtle glance and a smile once in a while.
Her demeanor was hard to read,
I sensed a sadness.
Her head hung lower and lower, no more glances.
Looking out of her window,
Dark clothes, dark glasses.
It's been a long time since I've seen Caroline.
She no longer takes the same route as mine.

Aloof

I'm right here and I'm living what I feel,
But I'm not feeling how I'm living
Which is creating some resentment.
No need for patting on the back,
Like the burping of an infant.
I wouldn't expect you to mend it.
My heart is resilient.
It was fine before you came,
Now that you're gone it's the same.
And if what was said brings guilt,
A little shame and some pain
Then whether my words were meant for you or another,
It's all the same
Because what is written can be used and misconstrued
Depending on ones perception.
Maybe you read between the lines because of your own reflection.

Today was like the last three
Alarm clock ringing like a phone with bad news on the other end
Starting another day without a good morning text
No mid-afternoon call to solidify evening plans
No fights that leave me restless in the a.m.
Im sorry texts that lift the weight off my shoulders
After fights that kiss that feels like the first
Except we've had time to rehearse
And we both knew this day would come
parted by death do us
Or realization that love isn't enough
So the last fight, our final dress rehearsal
No make up kiss
Only goodbyes and painfully sweet memories
Alarm clock still ringing
Like a call with bad news on the other end
Starting another day with no neck kisses
No hope of laying on your chest while we daydream and pretend to watch the tv set
Once I press alarm off
Its on to another cold day.
I wish it would rain.

Vessel

I fed from the Word, and it made me strong, but told me how weak I was. I fed from the world, and it made me dizzy, drunk from pleasure, and told me how strong I was, but I was weak. I heard the voices calling me from inside the righteous places, but I ignored them, I was in frenzy from the hustle and bustle of the sidewinders, thieves and miscreants, I got my strength from them, they fed me slow poison that tasted good and looked good, but sewed nothing. Gave me trinkets and toys, that all the world envied, but they were cheap, and made me feel the same. I took from the world because I thought it owed me, I shunned what God provided because I knew I wasn’t worthy, I stole from God because he had it all, and gave into the world because I needed its approval. I toasted to good times, and relished in them, but despised the trying times, which set me up from the greatest gifts I could ever imagine. I stared in the face of evil, and embraced it like a wayward brother I longed to see. Impressed upon my life I fell into trap after trap, because they all had different bells and whistles, but in the spirit, if I dwelled there I would see they were all the same. Lies.

I stood and watched, as my soul took beating after beating. I smiled, like the misguided vessel I was, with no room to grow, it seems, but God sought differently, he plucked my being until I listened, miles in the sky, what better place. He gave me vision to write, even when my eyes do not grace the paper. The Gospel, now gives me the inspiration, take hold of my fingers Dear Heavenly Father, that Your Word shall be seen in this text. Gear me towards those things you would have for my life, and give me the wherewithal and strength to endure forever more….AMEN.

EYES

This is an old poem I wrote a while ago. It was posted at one point in time, but I took it down to put in a book I never finished writing. Ran accross it and decided to post it.

EYES

I caught the eye of one who's lost
Let me take your hand
Take you to a place we both long to go
I caught a glimpse of my place
In your eyes
I believe you saw it in mine
Not a word spoken
The type of silence broken
Only by the ruffle of your body shifting
Closer to mine
My tears weld
While yours rolled down your face
We both imagined that place
And if it truly were the same
We'd soon go together.
How your imperfections seem perfectly placed
Reflection of my needs
So perfectly misplaced
In you.
These moments spent closely in tuned
To you.
Where does the time go?
I'd spend it all
For you.
Through our troubled times
The origin of your tears reflected
More then words could tell.
This bitter sweet silence as we lay
Even these sad times, I'd rather spend
With you.
Let me take your hand
As long as you'll have me
I'll wipe your tears
And live to keep them away.
I saw the place we both long to go
And mine, in the reflection of your eyes.
I believe you saw it in mine.

Lost Love

She was a love I lost and regret
Awkward hugs every 12 months
A chance meeting that reminds me
So for a week or so that same chance meeting confines me
In and out of the past
Time traveler
She’s my catalyst, my mind unraveler
Her inner beauty surpassed by none
An outer glow that stuns
The average man.
But me, it stings like vaccinations
As a youngin I thought our brief affair was infatuation
Maybe I’m living in the past
And if I had more to grasp
Than these chance meetings
Then I would see
We were never meant to be
But until then
For a week or so after our chance meetings
I play over and over in my head my initial greeting
And wish she could greet me for the rest of my days.
And until this feeling fades,
I’m here.
Thinking of a love I lost and regret.

Fleeting (Unfinished)

I swore I’d never love again.
Too many battle scars
Lessons learned, too many burns
I’m beginning to think the lesson taught is don’t try it
Is love the forbidden apple?
Don’t bite it.
Have we created a world that touches too many senses
We skip the roses
Only thing that could hurt us are its thorns
Now we don’t have to stop and smell anything
Its in our palms
They stop and sell it all
As much as your rumbling belly can endure
Only thing that could hurt is our soul.
We rally to reduce the carbon footprints in our valleys
But the pollution that needs reducing is the lack of love we’re producing.
And I don’t mean lust.
We skip on love because lust won’t hurt unless you catch feelings.
So it’s no strings attached until we use
Love and other drugs,
And love isn’t a drug, so that’s the problem with the title.
What’s the problem with a title?
The idea of love seems to be a fleeting mystery.
Cheating between the misery.
Finding something more real with the mistress.
She becomes the new lady with the fleeting title.
Rewind. Repeat.
Now the new lady is cutting eyes at the old lady
At the youngest baby's recital.
While the memories of her 2nd grade rendition of Fiddler on the Roof
Turns to her trying to outdo
The fact she got to have two moms and two dads growing up.
Every Holiday, two sets of presents showing up.
The more the merry.
So the more she'll marry.
Rewind. Repeat.

Conduction

Sweet and mild kisses
She likes the softness.
It is far from her old life.
His presence makes the pain fade.
She pictures him when he’s not there.
When days get bad, she beckons him.
Bittersweet, she tries not to be mean,
But the demons break through her calm.
She prays to control it, she needs him.
He knows, and understands.
He thinks he’s enough to make her forget,
Resenting that he’s not.
When he leaves the clock stops.
When he comes it seems to make up the time it lost.
She needs him,
But the demons keep breaking through her calm.
She resents them all.
He resents he can’t pick her up.
She resents the fall.
He resents the fall.
Now he begins to resent the calm.
“You can’t control it,” he says.
“Am I not enough to make you change?”
She replies, “I’m trying, it takes time to release this pain.”
He leaves, and the clock stops.
Returns, but the time moves slower.
She feels his presence no longer calms the way it did.
She grows stronger.
He now feels the demons breaking through his calm.

Things Fall Apart

Things fall apart
In other words, things change
No matter the city or town
The mounds of nouns we accumulate
In these rounds we call life,
Change.
These nouns that make up our life.
Defined as person, place or thing.
The answer to Who? What? Where?
And sometimes, Why?
The questions of life,
Answered by these mounds of nouns we accumulate.
That define us, mold us, make us, break us.
Because things fall apart.
From the Roots.
In other words things change.
As quick as the sun turns to rain,
And back again.
People change.
Places change.
Things change.
As they fall apart.
Not in the literal always.
Our notions, our history, our perceptions
Create a landscape sculpted from the nouns in our lives.
In other words,
Our notions, our history, our perceptions like sculpting knives,
Carving the lenses in which we see our nouns.
So when change comes, our old notions fall apart.
Rescuplting those lenses from which we see the world.
Things fall apart.

Playing With Your Emotions

Poets are just artists who can’t sing.
Putting an emotion to music strikes a cord.
A, C, E Flat.
Melodies and words mix from tears and lonely nights.
Hurt feelings and broken hearts ring the loudest.
Love gained and lost rolls off the page into sound.
From sound to writings on the wall.
Like a child’s height markings on the door.
The first three cords of a song take you back.
When you were only yay big, emotionally.
Those first three words remind you of those scars,
That only seem to ache when it rains.
Or when night turns to dawn,
When you’re tired, but can’t seem to sleep
Only yawn.
Nostalgia.
Like spring cleaning and running across an old mix CD.
When you know the randomness of the songs made sense to you at that very moment.
And as you listen you regain your mindset and think back.
I wish I was not a poet and could sing.
I would try to capture your emotions in every song.
Creating a memory,
Or reminding you of one you’ve tucked away.
Playing the human experience like you felt it.
Giving you the words you’ve felt,
But never expressed.
Like a lost love,
You would forget.
But on a night like tonight,
You would hum the tune,
And relive the first moment you heard me play your emotions.

Untitled

I never knew we would be this cold
Met in warm weather
Warm kisses in May and June
Turned to cold Eskimo kissing in warm sweaters
Been here to see the seasons change
Left time and time again
Cold nights after cold-hearted fights
I would sit in the car, fall asleep
Only awaken to the morning light.
It’s warm again.
The thrill is on again
Walking hand in hand
Cold kisses from cold ice cream parlor visits
It’s like your heart warmed up,
And mine got cold.
Things got better
I felt the cold was missing
We faced the storm, but not together.
Revenge is a dish best served cold
And that’s how we served it.
Getting back at me for mistrust in you,
Me getting back at you for giving up on you
Cold decisions you made in the past
Never envisioning we’d cross paths
Hot-tempered and cold-hearted
Work together to drive a wedge
Not so dearly departed.
A cold disdain,
Hot-blooded passion.
Met in warmer days
Hot and cold until we parted.

Would we listen?

Who will witness?
Be a testimony to the twisted and the lonely,
When the night falls
The night crawls
Children crying, “Who will hold me”
Prophesy of destruction
Never bliss and better days.
Would we listen?
And see through the hateful haze.
Or accept it?
Perpetuate that we’re in the last days
Would you mention?
Never flinching, implementing a new craze.
Where good news is reported and never distorted.
Who will witness?
Step forward.
Would we listen?

A.B.M.

I wish I had the guts and spewed dope
Like Gil Scott Heroine
So I could show you the gap is narrowing
Between a land of the free and the brave
To the grossly uneducated, poor and misbehaved.
The skin-heads no longer shave,
They earmark, lobby and lynch the masses unscathed.
1 if by land
2 if by sea
3 if bipartisanism
4 if by bureaucracy
Now coming from a man in 2011
Speak of change sounds of conspiracy theories
And angry black man speaking of proverbial chains
But despite how its spun,
The truth still remains
The truth still remains.
Our only identity is that we have none
Rooted in a buck, who's value is declining
Our values a muck.

Spectrum

Ambition and contentment
Joy and resentment
Full pockets and a little lent
War rockets and bricks of cement
Opposite ends of the spectrum
Connected by the in betweens
Those with or without means
We all think of these things
Living them
Or seeing them in our dreams
Poor man dreams of riches
Rich man dreams of ditches
Both dream of the other’s world
To Richman a nightmare
To Poorman a fairytale

Where I am

When I was young
I was in a rush to make a fuss
And at times it got my bell rung
Now I’m like hush.
And its not I like slowed down to hear the birds chirp.
I don’t stop and smell roses
Only chirp I hear is my text alert.
Seems like all I want is a pocket full of posies.
Ashes, ashes we all fall down.
Enthralled in a text.
Got me swerving
Almost involved in a wreck.
On the way to a paycheck.
Coming from a paycheck.
To pay for a life that seems
To be moving at break neck speeds.
I lived for the next step.
I know my friends think I’m all over the place.
I took some time off the race.
Got lazy, but never complacent.
You think I think in tangents
I’m just trying to be adjacent
To the things I believe that will make my lot in life stronger.
I’d be profoundly content on living the simple life
Grow food, hunt meat, live where I can sleep under the stars
And not rely on Google Sky Maps to point to where they are.
But this is where I stand,
And lay.
This is where I walk
And stumble.
This is where I talk proudly
And mumble.
This is where I am.
This is where I am.

Highway to Mars

The square and boring lead lives of monotony with no meaning,
Snicker and laugh at the dreamers demeanor so demeaning.
Leading down a roadway,
A path.
So traveled straight-laced and unbraced with no feeling.
Id be a fool to say all dream with no action is the road you must travel,
But living with no dreaming can make the mind unravel.
A dream reflects hope,
Hope drives ambition
Ambition leads to fruition.
Those who do great things often take the road less traveled,
Otherwise greatness would be the norm.
Along the embankment lies discarded plans,
Good intentions and rough sketches of new inventions.
The path...the road...this highway,
Is about the scars, the setbacks, the tears.
But forever within our sights.
So sit high on your horse,
Belittle my dreams because they're not what yours are.
And watch as I fade in the distance on my Highway to Mars.

Seed

Gathering my composure
Has turned into an epic battle
You may not see the seed inside
But I know you can hear it rattle.
Trying to escape
With every shake.
The back and forth makes the inside quake.
Time is all we have until it runs out
Life is about managing the droughts
What I’m lacking only gives me an advantage
If I don’t see the danger, I can’t panic
And if you don’t see my anger
You rehash it
I never feared myself
Until I saw the fear in the woman’s eyes
Clutching her purse and cutting her eyes
I feared myself at that very moment
The image my face portrays
The legacy my dominant gene relays
Through my veins coarses the very seed I may lay
And although my options give way
To women of all types and shades
From Italy to Bombay
My physical features
Pierce through the womb
And leave their impressions like good teachers
A good father wants his seed to have all the things he had plus some
I want mine to have better than the preconception of rocks and guns
Belief that all he’s good for is the box and 1
A need to entertain the masses
And skip classes.
I’d raise him better than that
But the world is full of those who will try to steer him clear
Of the beauty of his skin.

USED

She told me I was a diamond in the rough.
I took offense,
But kept a mental note and laughed it off.
I saw the drunken daze in her awkward gaze,
But overlooked her crass remarks
Tipped my glass and sparked
A meaningless conversation.
I figured I’d pass the moment
With nothing too deep,
Let’s face it her pretty face will only sell wolf tickets
Those prices are steep.
The more I see
The more I understand she only wants a man
With enough flash and pazazz to make her feel alright about herself
When he gets in the pants
And the same man has enough know how
Because his pops was the man
To talk the talk, all the while knowing she’s a flash in the pan
It happens again and again.
Flashing a little money
That could be the rent
Usually showing a little clout
Is the most direct route to the honey.
Her name was Diamond
She once was more than enough.
Now she’s just rough and used up.

Untitled

UNTITLED

I knew the extremes of the world
Garnered more attention then the subtle
Passive notions
Fluttering requests
Weren't heard like strong rebuttles
I once knew a queen
At least I called her mine
We had only high and low times
No in between
Since we couldn't fully understand
What those would mean
In the memories of her and me
In the grand scheme
The middle of the road is often forgotten
Lonely in the trenches of our mind
Hard to grasp
Even harder to find
Because the beautiful and the ugly stand out
Like a beautiful spirit in this cold world
And the extremes of her and me didn't pan out
And made out love unfurl
The adrenaline we rode like jackals ran out
The flame fanned out
The backdrop of our ugly drowned our beauty
And all is left is the memories we longed to see.

If you could fight anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?

I would probably fight any slave master, Hitler or the man that killed my great grandfather

Ask me anything

I Miss Missing You

I miss missing you
I never thought I’d see today
Beginning to miss the ache
That shook like earthquakes
I wondered if regret would fade
It became a constant companion
But now it visits with less frequency
My mind is healing itself instinctively
I suppose time heals all wounds
But I wished the pain associated with you still loomed
I swore I’d never love another
All I wanted was to make our plans
When things were new
Our reality
But as life grabs a hold of us I lost touch
And when you were gone
I clung to our pain
Like a dying man who doesn’t want to accept his fate
I’d rather feel the pain of our truth
Then lose the thought of missing your touch
I miss missing you
Like I used to miss kissing you
I miss wishing you
Would reconsider
And surrender to
Our plans when things were new
I miss missing you
Because if you came back now
I’d be through.

Souls of Men

I almost ran in the back of the same rusty Lincoln 5 times this morning
That rusty car started the chain of
Thoughts
That
Made
Me
Screech
On
My
Brakes
That same rusty car sparked old aches
That once moved my world like earthquakes.
That rust reminded me that everything on this earth changes
And rearranges.
Complicated relationships tangle and untangle,
Perception changes like looking at life from a different angle.
The rusty old car had me thinking of myself.
Once new and green.
Wild eyed and full of optimism.
Now I bend the rules so much
They aren't broken they're mangled,
Twisted and construed stacked on top of each other
Like works of art not to be hung in museums,
But hanging,
Weighing heavily
Making my head hang low.
I've become and artful expression of the evils of the world.
On display.
The souls of men.

Am I Blue?

Am I Blue?
Or can you tell?
I wear my heart on my sleeve
But I wear a jacket as well
This hate courses through my veins
Sadness flares up like flames
Behind my eyes tears are stored
Inner turmoil in my soul
But am I blue?
Can you tell?
Do I wear it well?

LITANY

Its so much easier to get up and walk away from a mess, whether you created it or not. Its harder to sit in it and clean it up. Most of the time, we take the easier route, myself included.

LITANY

There are a litany of things
That cloud my head and ease my mind
A litany of memories that ring aloud
When I close my eyes
How soon we forget our personal truths
History repeating
Are our minds aloof?
Babies raising infants
Low eduation and poverty
Is that not our proof?
So have this litany of things
That rings and sings our demise
We display the litany of things that kills our judgement
and clouds our minds.
Those with resouces
Seem too afraid or unwilling to share
And glare saying, "You can't force us"
So they move to better areas
And for a while they escape
But color runs like spilled paint
Until there are enough faces
That look like our faces
Now the new prestine place is
Not so prestine
Now you're off to the races.
But when the majority does the same
You scream racism.
I can appreciate a love/hate relationship for my people
Sometimes efforts to evoke change are feeble
But those who have the means must try
This situation isn't one to let sleeping dogs lie.

When the Love is Gone

It's nearly 2 a.m.
I've driven this way from Sara's a thousand times
I pass the same patch of cows
While I'm hypnotized by the center lines
In Paris, I wonder if Pierre passes the Eiffel Tower
With the same feeling
While tourist trod up the Champs-Elysees
Mesmerized
He yawns wiping the coals from his eyes
There its nearly 9 a.m.
He's driven this way to Sara's a thousand times
He no longer is in awe of the Tower or Sara
She's become as routine as his drive
And as boring as my cows

Her Side/His Take

HER SIDE

Never as good as the first time
Got me yearning for the next time
I don’t go out on a limb often
But when I saw you across the room
My heart skipped beats thrice times over
A mirage
Or ethereal
You became my focal point
Your aura murmured masculinity
Your swagger said king
Drawn to you
I wanted to bury my face in your neck
And inhale
Every single molecule
Atom
Ion
Of You
From my glossy lips dripped
Who is that?
Breathe girl you’re staring
Does he see me staring
You caught me staring
A deer in the headlights
I should move
But your light
Had me stuck
Looking away was not an option
I stood outside of myself
And watched
As I approached you
Roll slow homey
Yet it all felt so fast
Before you I stood
Speechless
Grasping for the right words
To say
Hello
My name is
Your better half
Wife
Mother of your babies
Uhm
My name is
Damn what is my name
You smiled
I frowned
What is my name
Next thing I knew our hands were touching
Yours firm and solid
Mine sweaty and shaking
Hoping you’d
One day
Have
All
Of
Me
Sweaty
And Shaking

HIS TAKE

Here I go again
So many fake smiles
So called high times
and fake tag lines
Its stuffy in here
And I don't mean from poor ventillation
or too many bodies
I'm talking from uppity Negroes with too much
Ejumacation.
Until you...
I could tell you were out of place
Here because you felt like this is what we must do
All wined up, trying to unwind
From the daily grind
I had resigned that tonight
was just another busted night
Until I felt eyes glaring
Figured it was another busted chick
Thinking because she's educated and has a job
That I should fall madly
I looked at you and thought gladly
And you may be my love at first write
Because until just now I thought I was just enamored
But writing this peice brought my feelings to light
Like a lantern.
And like a moth
I was drawn to you
Grabbed your hand because the oil had me feeling myself
I remember
Like yesterday
Because I dreamt of you all night.
Woke this morning
Sweaty
And Shaking

It's Mourning

Its funny, times like these I'd lean to you
Cling to you
Now I sing to you
Cries of pain
I feel my mourning may never end
Before the reality of another day without you sets in
But then I remember the lessons you've taught
To have faith and worry not
You prepared me to withstand your loss
I hurt, oh how I hurt
And times I see more of your face
Than God's saving grace
But I know He is here
And when I think of that I know you're near
And then I see God's amazing grace in your face
In your smile
In our memories
In your hug
And I know I'll always feel your love.
I miss you.

Mas Tankas

These are the last ones I promise. I found them in my phone and needed to put them out there.

He's Calling

God sent a message
in white silk, like Charlotte's web.
It read, "Take heed son"
Though I saw it in my dreams,
it manifested today.

Fling

I remember now.
Fireworks and fireflies,
white dandelions
to you as sweet mementos
Summer fling until we fall.

The Flake (unfinished)

I would call you flakey
But the definitiveness of such a label
Would put you in a box that you would inevitably escape from
So I won’t group you into anything with any particularity
Since structure is such a rarity
You’re flakey like warm buttermilk biscuits
Like perfectly prepared grouper
Promises from a whino in a drunken stupor
Your flake knows no bounds
Crosses all color lines, religions and creed

More Tankas

Hangover

His walk has faltered
Into a tomb his soul falls.
How ripe fruit fades fast
Roosters no longer awake
the drunken man, his thirst does.


Root of this Rut

The somber mood of
these poems scare my woman.
She is fond of my
hands, which no longer caress.
They only secure my head.

Tankas

BREAK UP

I felt like a fool,
Like one-winged butterfly
something was missing.
I thought I found it in you,
I was green then, now i know.


UNWIND

Peaceful is the night,
when I hear the crickets play.
White shooting stars skip
in the sky taking away
the cares of the day.

Skeletons

I love her,
I think she knows it
But I’ve never said it
She’s broken many hearts before

I hear those skeletons cry out to me
From the closet as she sleeps next to me
I’ve seen the way they look at me
They envy my place

But they know my days are numbered
And one day I'll join their broken-hearted fraternity
And we'll form one lonely voice
Crying out to the next future brother

At times I hear her heart rumble
She’s a man-eater
And I know it but she has me hooked
She smells the love

I see the frenzy in her eyes
I recognize that look
I’ve broken many hearts before
So maybe she’s met her match

I’ll never tell her
I’ll keep her guessing
Now my plan is hatched
I hope it lasts

But I want what’s real,
No games but it's all I have
A life of playing with emotions,
Ghosts of my past

To be a martyr to my heart
To feel what I’ve dealt
I love her,
I think she knows it

So what happens when you're caught up in the double life...

His Side
You're as forbidden as Genesis fruit
And as far as living without you
The pain I feel when we're apart is acute
I know we should part ways
But I'm afraid I'll weep like a newborn babe
When we're together it’s like we're on an isle by ourselves
Enthralled in this fairy tale we pray never drifts away
But when we bid our farewells
It’s never fair at all
And though I wish you were there at my every beck and call
Quite frankly we never know when this shaky tower of deceit might fall
And crush our seperate worlds
Either pushing us closer together
Or have us retreating to our significant others
Trying to patch things amidst the stormy weather
Until then you're like the sweetest evil
Tearing me apart at my very base
Wishing I was strong enough to leave the one at home that's so devoted
But I forget about her devotion every time I see your face
If I could just bottle this regret I feel
Right after we part
I'd drink its shame
And keep it near
When I think of your sweet name

Her Take
You leave me
Speechless
Breathless
Longing for the next exchange of air
With you I catch my breath and lose it all over again
I live to inhale you
Hate to exhale you
You pollinate my senses
Giving birth to new feelings
A new awareness of who I am
Better with you
Listless without you
You are my greatest joy
My biggest sin
Every time you go back to her
It’s like I need life support
I wait an eternity for you to resuscitate
Me
His love
A temporary oxygen chamber
Until you return
With my breath of fresh air

God Bless Haiti

Birth of a nation
Weakened from the lashings
Drained from the tears of yester years
Leaders drunk from the sin
As cutting as the wind
Changing in every direction
Enamored by the smallest glimmer of hope
To cope.
Instability not just brick and mortar
These walls were never built to last
Came down fast
Have and have-nots affected
Maybe now these walls will talk
And forever more be resurrected
At least until our Savior comes
Broken homes and broken bodies
Here's the stage they needed
Too bad the wealth of a nation and its color
Didn't allow the warning to be heeded
Now you see through the lens of a death toll
Far exceeding
Far exceeding what your conscience allows you to ignore
God Bless Haiti
From the smallest blade of grass to the shore
Here's the stage you needed
Too bad the color of a nation
Stopped the warning from being heeded

Forbidden

You're as forbidden as Genesis fruit
And as far as living without you
The pain I feel when we're apart is acute
I know we should part ways
But I'm afraid I'll weep like a newborn babe
When we're together its like we're on an isle by ourselves
Enthralled in this fairy tale we pray never drifts away
But when we bid our fairwells
Its never fair at all
And though I wish you were there at my every beck and call
Quite frankly we never know when this shaky tower of deceit might fall
And crush our seperate worlds
Either pushing us closer together
Or have us retreating to our significant others
Trying to patch things amidst the stormy weather
Until then you're like the sweetest evil
Tearing me apart at my very base
Wishing I was strong enough to leave the one at home that's so devoted
But I forget about her devotion everytime I see your face
If I could just bottle this regret I feel
Right after we part
I'd drink its shame
And keep it near
When I think of your sweet name.

What happens when you discover love is really infatuation?

His Side:
Infatuation had me eating to live,
My belly wasn't full
And I didn't fully savor
But I partook of you anyway
It felt like the real thing
Something was missing and I thought it was me
I sprinkled romance and mystery
And because i was fresh out of misery
It tasted sweet like my first love used to make
I realized you don't have to search your soul
For a soul mate
She finds you
And then love binds
I wrestled with infatuation
But love pinned me
Infatuation got me drunk with my head still reeling
Love got me high
And on to the clouds is where I reside
I took what love I lost and replaced it with lust
I have loved and lost and it forever changed me
Then I only wanted infatuation
It was some of the feeling, none of the hurt
Until you come down.
Hungover from the cheap imitation
Pores seeping with regret
You hate love more for driving you to this place
But you're to blame
All attention isn't good attention
And good intentions often leads to the same place as the bad
Infatuation sets you up for the fall
But love conquers all

Her Take:
You are that hot stove that I’m not supposed to touch
Wasn’t supposed to touch
Touched
Now burning
Soul on Fire
Under your influence
I lost sight of my reality
A novice love-r
I was prone to believe you were
Gold
Not pyrite
Love
Not infatuation
And I bought it
I did
A fool and her heart
Are soon parted
Infatuation took me fiend high
And
then
DROPPED
Me
Ignored my tears
Didn’t return my calls
Or Texts
Or E-mails
Or BBMs
Made
A
Fool
Of
Me
Reject
Should have known we don’t really choose who we love

Merry Chrima

Merry Merry Christmas
Tis the season
And I don't know the particular reason
But I smell treason
I put 10 gifts under the tree
And someone has robbed me
As blind as all three mice combined
I should've known
Things were going as fine as wine
I have two folks I suspect
And a dollar to your dime I'll bet
They've got all ten gifts
But I haven't proved it yet.
I wrapped them oh so neatly
Everyone was in the house so i wrapped them very discreetly
It was time to make my famous rum cake
So i prepared the ingredients and got them ready to bake
So its customary that I sample the rum
And sampled the rum
heck it makes the baking fun
And sampled and sampled
until I had to make a store run
And it gets hazy after this
Maybe I was drugged
But when I woke up the theives had stolen my gifts
Well I guess my neice heard me rumbling
I heard chuckling from the other room
She came in sweetly gave me a kiss
And whispered, "Uncle, thank you for the gifts"
I'm a bafoon, I slept through Christmas
And it was December 26th

His Side/Her Take

His Side:
Father always said the power of attraction is strong
And although I’m not attracted to your physical
Your “everything else” has me thinking
Can I break the law of the physical to satisfy my mental?
Knowing my physical needs often impairs my mental judgment
Can I make you mine?
How shallow is a man who knows she has it all
Except a beauty that fades
Except a body type that eventually gravity takes as its victim
I’m a man, and I guess this vanity is a symptom
Maybe of my nature
Maybe as a symptom of this world
I know you’d make my seed strong and ready for the world
I know you’ll love me despite my imperfections
And help our potential unfurl
But
If I’m fickle with women who don’t tickle my fancy
And I’m layered like an onion
And I’ve been known to make them cry
I want all my layers to be satisfied
Is it possible or am I chasing after a lie?
Furthermore am I worthy, I’ll ask the Sky.
But I know the answer.
Your “everything else” has me pondering
How shallow am I?

Her Take:
Look at this ninja
He really thinks he’s something great
Special even
Ugh
I really want to tap him on his shoulder and tell him
I SEE THROUGH YOU
Such bravado
Faux swagger
His cologne the fragrant aroma of insecurity
I like him anyway
Because I see his potential to be so much more
I’m not perfect
I’m greeted every morning
By the welcome bell jingle of cellulite
A lil pudge on my tummy
That took residence when I chose career over fitness
Snacking over jogging
BUT
My beauty radiates inside out
I’ll never be a supermodel
But a woman I am
Beyond beautiful
Because the superficial shit
Means nothing to me
I am who I am
And
My father always said a man should love me for just that
Not who he thinks I should be
So my physical is only a partial representation of who I be
Ya dig
I’m too deep for a shallow negro
To ever conceive
The wealth that runs deeps within me

The Beginning...

HER SIDE

He said he’d call
Yet I’m sitting here
Not so patiently waiting
For nothing
I mean
It’s only been 3 days
72 hours
4320 minutes
Nothing
Did I hallucinate the vibes
Maybe he’s just not that into me
Although he should be
I mean have you seen me
It should have been his pleasure to meet me
And his honor to have even gotten the secret code
To ring my phone
And yet
Nothing
He wasn’t that damn fine anyway
Club lights create illusion
When mixed with the haze of minor intoxication
I mean who does he think he is anyway
Because when he does call
I’m going to play the disinterested
Too late sorry negro role
Could I have given him the wrong number
No
How dare he have me waiting
By this phone
3 days
72 hours
4320 minutes later
For
Nothing

- Zette


HIS TAKE

She didn’t have to get my hopes up
Flirting, dancing giving me insight into her life
And although it was dim in the club I saw her light
I was hesitant to get her secret code
I loathe the idea of “Game”
But I was genuine, but who can tell
I thought she did.
I didn’t want to call her right then and there
To see if her code was real
That’s lame.
I couldn’t even wait the customary 48 hours
It was only 32…
Just to get, “China Pan Buffet, how may I help you?”
DANG!
I was hungry so I had to order.
I wrote this poem on my napkin.
I mean who does she think she is anyway?
There was a haze of minor intoxication
Maybe I heard the wrong number?
72 hours later
I got my hopes up
For
Nothing

- Walt

9 TO 5

I tied one dollar to each side of my bed post
Since it seemed to be the thing that runs through my head the most
Id pray it wouldn't thrwart these dreams to see the things unseen
And the American American American scheme
Since that's all it seems to be
I work and live life just to work away the strife
A starving artist with love for a craft has to sit back with not
enough funds to buy a calc good thing he took calc
so he could do life's math
a subject they didn't teach in 4th period
And I'm too serious
Life's math quickly adds up to more than what's in my pocket
Because all the things I wanted don't come from a trust fund on my
rich dad's wallet
80s baby with 70s soul, now that's solid
And what's jive is the need to work a 9 to 5 to live a lie
And that's a lie that says I'm happy
Between the days i catch a glimpes of contentment
Which is the real tragedy
I live with resentment for the years i chose contentment

UNTITLED

I changed the channel on my love once,
hit recall now i'm back to
before the love was lust, lost.
Now at night I toss,
I felt a buzz as I lay there,
reached for my phone but it was a pager there,
true story.
I guess I took it back.
I awoke from a shallow sleep,
thought of you and faded chest deep.
I'm wading in the water,
but I'm fading fast,
still dreaming you haunt me in my sleep
I only miss you because I wish I didn't feel this way,
you let me go because I pushed you,
now i'm begging you to stay.
143s of the past mean nothing now,
love lost is like losing a bet,
I put up my heart.
But doubling down or losing a
round aint nothing like this

LIFE

I live life so that one day I may live the life I've always longed
I dream strong
I must or the hustle and bustle
Will shuffle my dreams between the seams
That seperate living the life I long
Or growing strong
From the toil

TIRING

I want to focus on the love
But the hate has me by the collar
I guess its got me hung
I just wanna see the light
Been in the dark so long
It seems its not within my sight
There’s no positivity when
You’ve got no pot to pee in
What good is it to be locked and loaded
When you don’t have a firing pin
It seems life is only inspiring
When its tiring
I wish I could create with no pain

Not to Mention

Now i know when you said
"Not to mention"
You meant to save that for last
As an exclamation point in your plan to stick to
And though I've had
the opportunity to
Sit through many of these

NOT TO MENTION DISCUSSIONS

I'd rather be licked in the face by a shitzu
Or only have ugly women to kick to
Or get the swine flu
And I know you need to vent
Need someone to whine to
But I'd like to
Focus on fixing this because this relationship is mine too
We're in this together and i signed on the dotted line too
And I could sugar coat this thing
But I know how much you hate to be lied to
Trust I KNOW
You're only 5'2 with enough bite for three K9s times two
Shoot not to mention you've got a 9 too
Now I know you saw how that worked
I meant to mention the 9 and frankly I did it because I was itching to tell
you the truth
That every time I hear a car backfire, after we're riftin
I hit the deck and yell shots fired
You meant it, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned at all.
I think you just wanna rub it in
So next time mention it all
And if you forget something just say it

Bottle It

I wish I could bottle this feeling
Drink it when i fell from my senses
Meet you for lunch to catch up
Spike your punch
I once said I wouldn't wish this misery on my enemy
But you're better than that
Which is why it hurts when you fell from that
Whatever it is that love's euphoria had me engrossed in
What took me to a point so high
Dropped me from free fall
It feels like you'll lose your lunch
But you haven't eaten in days
And that's it right there
That sick feeling
Right in the pit
Amazing how the emotional manifests
Now its physical and I'm a mess.
Oh how I wish I could bottle this.
I'd sell it to those who have thoughts of going back.
Returning to the scene of your own crime
Fighting the urges you felt right before you fell.
Those thoughts like beautiful torture.
Dancing in your head
That same place you feel your pit churning
To suppress the yearning you hate yourself for feeling
I'd sell it for a little less then your dignity
So you could have it back.

Evolution of a Cheating Heart

Evolution of a Cheating Heart
A need to conquer like Bonaparte?
Two lives once together now a world apart.
Cheating thoughts rewind and replay like syndication
Ripping you from elevation
The pedestal you once stood tall on
Forever tainted because etched in her mind is the painting
Split Screen...
You panting and her at home waiting
The evolution of a cheating heart never contemplates
The sick feeling in the pit
Or the initial fit
Of rage.
Maybe one day she can turn the page
But unlikely
You tied the noose around your trust too tightly
If the initial snap wont kill it
The lingering feeling of tainted intimacy
Will snuff out the flame quicker then no oxygen
So come with me
Imagine when
Imagine how that blow felt
Below the belt
When she found out someone was playing below yours
And because when it rains it pours
It wasn't one of your average run of the mill whores
It was a sister from another mister
A bossom buddy that wanted your cutty
Day and Night
The Lonely Loner seems to free her inhibitions at night
At At At Night.
The evolution of a cheating heart
Whether slow or fast
Burns and scorns the same.
Until it snuffs out pure love's flame.

Its easy to say you got me when you got nothing
Never had, if you did
You'd be so afraid to eat those words
That whatever you had you hid
You're the worst kind
You couldn't see yourself
You wouldn't see yourself
Maybe if you were Truman and you bought the complete box set
Limited edition
With editors commentary
Special features with psychiatrist commentary
And Psyche profile
And even then I think it would be futile
You don't see it because you hate who you are
Or love yourself too much to drop yourself off that pedestal
But I promise its inevitable
Sooner or later we come face to face with our star player

Recall

I changed the channel on my love once, hit recall now i'm back to before the love was lust, lost. Now at night I toss, I felt a buzz as I lay there, reached for my phone but it was a pager there, true story. I guess I took it back. I awoke from a shallow sleep, thought of you and faded chest deep. I'm wading in the water, but I'm fading fast, still dreaming you haunt me in my sleep I only miss you because I wish I didn't feel this way, you let me go because I pushed you, now i'm begging you to stay. 143s of the past mean nothing now, love lost is like losing a bet, I put up my heart. But doubling down or losing a round aint nothing like this. So I channel search through the fish of the sea, but I always find my mind on you, 143. I know deep down you're not four me. So why when i'm in the middle of another program, I'm drawn to you, my previous channel.

Blue

Our love isn't predicated
At least until now
But I'm dedicated
We come from two worlds but we match right
Areas of gray mix the love with black and white
Occupied by lesser things
Or so it seems
Amidst the turmoil I felt my blood boil
I was into her, and she wasn't so into him
But they both hurt the same
And to borrow from X
How could I maintain with that s&#$ on my brain
I'd lie if I said it still wasn't
She was before you and he was before me
But it was still there for our eyes to see
Ironic that what we didn't see hurts the most
I now wish I could erase what I imagine when he held you close
I sit and stare and it leaves me heart broken
Maybe it will just take more time,
But every time I hear certain words spoken
I revert to the blank stare my stomach turns,
It's like our love is choking
And the gift is I need you more then ever
The curse is I need you more then ever
Lovers dream of running away together
I'd gladly run from the stormy weather
With us hand in hand
Its like we're in the eye of the storm
Swept away by our thoughts, this world, ourselves
What if what we've found together isn't enough?
And I know the road will be tough.
And because I admit that you wonder,
Does that mean I won't be there when things get rough?

Men aint $(*%

It might just be you,
I know, I know its hard to believe its true.
You're alone because no one is worthy.
You won't settle you don't care if you're 30.
And I completely understand not settling
And don't take this as me meddling...
But maybe you should get off Match.com
And try Lower Expectations.
Now before you go getting your panties in a wad
Think hard.
Let me put you up on something you already know but ignore.
Men make time for what's important in their lives
And just because he has qualities that you like
That doesn't make him Mr. Right
And especially if to him you're Ms. Wrong
All that you want doesn't necessarily want you
Think of the times you've rejected
Did you think it was a problem you had that made you deflect him?
Naw it was him.
Now does that make sense?
I used to want to prove you wrong
But if you can’t see its you on your own
Why waste my time?
Besides if you were on his radar
He would have stepped up and made a move
But you’re like gum on the bottom of some shoes
Annoying and a hassle
And only there because some cat dropped you
Now I’m the bad guy when your friends are the ones who failed you
When I slip mine tell me the reason for the stumble
Nothing like real friends to keep you humble
But when you fall your friends blame us all
Men hear and sense the negativity
If only I had a mirror that you wouldn’t question
To show your true self
You may wonder why I bother
If I hear “Men aint Shi” one more time
I need someone to tickle my fancy
And quite frankly
You may not have the fingers for it
Or maybe that's not my spot
And maybe you're just not hot.
For whatever reason
Love is like God it'll meet you where you are.
So if you're at a place where "Men aint S(&*"
Then they probably aren't.

Truth

The truth is stoic
Unbending in its arrogance
Sought after by the noble and pauper alike
Dodged by those with ignoble intentions
Feared by the same at any mention
Ugly and Beautiful
Skewed by your looking glass
The truth
Starter and the end all of wars
Creator of loyalty
Elusive and sometimes bitter
Some say its the key from enslavement
With the ability to set you free
Decreasingly the answer in a cold sick world
It dwells in some more then others
The truth
Torn by the gnashing of teeth
Battered by those who try to twist and bend
Loosening with the help of the "oil"
"Drank" or wine
The truth.
Stoic.
You can almost hear its absoluteness,
Though we long to beat it.
Join it.
It may set you free.

Back Drop

I woke up this morning
Shook the coal from my eye and pondered about my love
I thought I would simply write then,
At that very moment…
But I couldn’t find my pen
Plus I was late.
I found the words I wanted all day
They came to me like begging gypsies in Rome
You’re my world,
No, no how my world was nothing without you
I dream about you,
No, no how you were a dream,
My dream.
But then I realized.
You were a beautiful person
But only because the back drop of this world was so ugly
Or is it just human to love our imperfections
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not putting my love for you in question
Its just I’m inside my head from sun up to sun down
And I know my way of thinking is flawed
And I don’t consider myself the most wacked out person around
But there are some sick thoughts inside my head
And I thank the heavens I have a conscience I can’t shed
Cause if not the snake would be in full force
And of course my inner self may rear its ugly head
I just gather that what we both love
We hate.
And what we long for
We run away from,
And what we live for
We won’t always die for
I just gather that’s what makes us human
Imperfect.
So you are a beautiful person, and the back drop of this work is ugly.
And we made it that way.
So if you shine amidst the imperfection…
You are my dream and my world.

Limbo: Part Deux

So you flee from the insanity
Just to get roped back in
This love rodeo’s got your heart bucking all over
Wishing this ride would be over
Or maybe if you could become a little colder
Reach that breaking point
Take the stake out of your heart
And draw a line in the sand
Raise a flag that says
“Limbo, Never to Return Again”
But as soon as the tide rises
Lonely nights, late evening surprises
Hormones aren’t subsiding
You step back into no man’s land
Where complication and confusion rule
Where you eat the words, “I’ll be no one’s fool”
Perplexed again, you failed that test again
So you call your next of kin
They say there you go with that mess again
Couldn’t fight that flesh and win.
Good enough to lay, but not good enough to stay.
Oh, this limbo that we’re in.
Please address it
Or assess the years lost and the damage cost.
Limbo leaves the scorn and broken hearted.
Wasted love and Cupid’s discarded
Oh if we could recognize the signs.
Or push a button that would remind
About the times you laid motionless
Mind racing, hoping this
Indecisiveness, draining stagnate time would move on
Trade the grey for contrasting shades of black and white
I wish she'd let go, or hold tight.

Limbo: Part I

We started like they all start
Lofty ideals, kisses on the neck giving us full-body chills
Thoughts of, “Maybe this is the real deal”
She was beautiful, he was fine as…well
Noses wide open,
You both had that new car smell,
And you were giving each other a spin,
So the representative slowly faded away and apprehension snuck in
You wanted to try your luck then,
Now your heart’s tucked in
But those feelings developed, not to a point of no return
But to be lost, IN LIMBO.
Oh I said it, some of your hearts sank
Your brain and your heart floating, stomach tied in knots
One day you’re cold the next day you’re hot
You want him when he doesn’t want you
Your minds playing tricks on you.
Its not worth it to keep going, but you’re invested
Or maybe you’re in between break ups,
And he’s just so familiar, “Heck I have 2 years indebted”
He owes me my happiness and the American dream
But you can’t understand why its like your sanity is busting at the seams
Let go.
Its limbo.
But what if things change?
Do I just let go at the first sign of rain?
Life and love sometimes bring pain.
I can endure a while longer,
And even if it doesn’t turn out right, at least I’ll be stronger, right?
I imagine breaking free from this bondage
Suspended with no strings
Constantly offensive or offended
What does this limbo mean?
Nothing confuses more then the tug of war with your heart and mind
Understanding doesn’t always come with time