ENCHANTED

Its inevitable like an, “I told you so”
After a wrong turn
When the soul yearns
Unfed, so it slow burns
Melted.
My world’s so unfurled
So inevitable like clean up on aisle 7
After an abrupt cart swerve
We hit unexpectedly
Its like you came for a purpose
A present
I came and left, so you’d miss my kiss
We caressed and pushed away so you’d feel
The effects of my warmth
I teased with my lips
So when they planted, you’d pull me close
I’d never tell you not to come and go as you please
Your choice makes out time all worth while
I’d make your reality a fantasy
Enchantedly?

DADDY

She came into her own
Absence of her daddy left her grown
Too early
Into the dawn she’d walk
Into the arms of another she’d stalk the good life
Or what she thought of it
Strong arms, false sense of shelter
Pretty face, so this is what the cards dealt her
Fully harnessing the power she was given
Not knowing it would fade
She glitter like a gem
I called her Jade
Faded pictures of a jaded woman
With stories of the empty days
Full of empty cheers
Warm bodies, but lonely nights
Faded into lonely days
She’d fill her cup
For her intuition begged for attention
But left her wanting and wishing
For real love
In a world full of deception
She’d need to seek the One
Not found in any man
But the Savior, of all who’s lost
Man only brings empty promises
Hidden motives
And potent pheromones
Lust and disaster
But when you trust in the Master
He’ll lead you the one who’ll put you first on this earth.

BLEED

Unattainable always creates a need to conquer
In the man who knows no bounds
The wise, binds himself,
But leaps in the eyes of the unfaithful
For he sees the net
With no fret, he stands strong
But walks meager
Humility allows the faithful to glide,
On the Promises of the Most High
The crooked path, left me tired
Straight and narrow left me fulfilled
But I couldn’t stay balanced
I threw myself on the fire,
Because I didn’t think I would burn
I pricked my fingers on the beautiful thorns
She gave me nothing.
I bled a rose.
My blood fed the soil of my soul
Because I learn and grown through my indiscretion
He wouldn’t let me bleed for nothing.
On edge of my heels,
My destiny clips.
So I walk meager,
Let my mind bleed the words
To allow my feet to glide.

Urges

My spoken word
Full of token verbs
And broken terms
Beautifully entrap all that’s within
From the ripe ole age of ten
I’ve envisioned a vision so deeply rooted in love.
I protected the ideals of romanticized views
Which now gives me the blues
Because I bore it in my mind my roots so fulfilling
Without them I’d surely lose a grip
I’d sip, slowly from the nectar of fire water
Known as the fire starter
Until my stomach spewed the heat of indiscretion
Reached my mouth, my actions
No circumvention
I folly from time to time, slowly bred on occasion
Spawn in a mind slowly salting my urges
To purge my faulty thoughts
Born to action.
Splurging your soul, soon grows old
Til you’re empty, fill an earthly need
A dead sown seed.
Take heed.

Lost Touch

I held on til I lost touch
Fell into a trance from first glance
My last chance, after this I’d fall from grace
Since 18, you had me
Ripped my heart in half
I was on cloud nine
In too deep
Its as though your body seeps in mine
Mindless love, while I'm in our world
Nothing else matters
The cares of the world lost in your eyes
Listen to the rain
The pitter pat
Whether its this or that
With you its better
Seconds cut into pieces
Hours like fragments in time
I'd shorten my time here cause our time feels like heaven
But I held on til you lost touch
With reality, my presence
I thought was a present, but it was the end of a future
As I look to the past I wonder where I failed
Cause when it rained, it poured
And turned to hail
Dented my frame of mind
And this came to mind
I held onto you because I lost touch

Rocky Ground

I’ve come to the conclusion, as I often do in the wee hours of the morning life is about maneuvering. I’ll start at the ground level. We have all heard the parable, “Seeds that fall on fertile ground reap bountifully and those that fall on rocky ground are washed away. I get the parable, but what amazes me about the seed that falls on fertile ground, it always knows which way is up. I have never seen a seed with a “This End UP” label. Furthermore, the plant grows two ways. Its roots grow downward and bloom upwards. Despite gravity, despite having to push through the soil, the beauty comes from beneath the ground, and the strength stays deeply rooted, underneath. Where am I going with this? Like most writers (and I call myself a writer very loosely), they write from underneath, at least that’s where I write from. Alone, amidst my soil or strung about on the rocks, I write. However, I have a gift that flowers do not have; a seed effectively has one shot at making it. I have fallen on rocky ground, fertile soil, and sometimes I did not fall at all I was swooped up by fowl, or never settled because the wind blew me to and fro. Nevertheless, no matter my surroundings, the origin of what I write comes from that place, wherever it may be. I say this, because no matter where you land, its about maneuvering where you are.
What never ceases to amaze me, is that when I’m floating or lost or amidst the rocky soil, I write my most inspired pieces. To quote my own work, “My mood sways, I relish in the good times, but learn and grow in the low…” Hard times breed pain, but it also breeds reflection. Reflection is the tool given to us that allows change, being able to look into oneself objectively is truly a gift. Writing from the rocky places gives me a clarity like no other. On the other hand, when I am surrounded by good people, discipline, a plan, good soil, I always know which way is up. But being in a good place doesn’t mean that you are content. A friend told me, contentment is the grim reaper of progress. Not to sound trite, but pressure busts pipes, but it also as writing is concerned can create an explosion of ideas, thoughts, creativity and progression. And its not my progress, I’m so concerned about, if I can write to boost someone else, I’m as happy as I can be.

Vessel

I fed from the Word, and it made me strong, but told me how weak I was. I fed from the world, and it made me dizzy, drunk from pleasure, and told me how strong I was, but I was weak. I heard the voices calling me from inside the righteous places, but I ignored them, I was in frenzy from the hustle and bustle of the sidewinders, thieves and miscreants, I got my strength from them, they fed me slow poison that tasted good and looked good, but sewed nothing. Gave me trinkets and toys, that all the world envied, but they were cheap, and made me feel the same. I took from the world because I thought it owed me, I shunned what God provided because I knew I wasn’t worthy, I stole from God because he had it all, and gave into the world because I needed its approval. I toasted to good times, and relished in them, but despised the trying times, which set me up from the greatest gifts I could ever imagine. I stared in the face of evil, and embraced it like a wayward brother I longed to see. Impressed upon my life I fell into trap after trap, because they all had different bells and whistles, but in the spirit, if I dwelled there I would see they were all the same. Lies.

I stood and watched, as my soul took beating after beating. I smiled, like the misguided vessel I was, with no room to grow, it seems, but God sought differently, he plucked my being until I listened, miles in the sky, what better place. He gave me vision to write, even when my eyes do not grace the paper. The Gospel, now gives me the inspiration, take hold of my fingers Dear Heavenly Father, that Your Word shall be seen in this text. Gear me towards those things you would have for my life, and give me the wherewithal and strength to endure forever more….AMEN.

Reprise (unfinished)

Ba Da Ba…
Ba Da Ba…
Close your eyes
Is that a reprise
For my ears to see
Oh how I love to freely kill
The pains for today
Scroll. Double-click. Or Press Play.
And fade away.
I hear the same words all day.
Put to song makes them fat.
They stick, how my love handles.
Playing over and over in my mind.
Reprise.
Yes please.

I could hardly tell...

I could hardly tell you the truth
I didn’t know it myself for sure
In perpetual limbo
Irreparable trust
I made the hard look simple
When it wasn’t
Now I look hard trying to find
When our love got wrinkled
You gave more then you had
On borrowed time I tried but you won’t look back
Guess I’m the proverbial pillar of salt
I could hardly give what you gave
I thought I was in love, but you knew
I said it unsure,
When I started to fight
You’d given up the battles
Let me back in
If only knew then
I concluded that it was me that love always
Alluded.
Now I’m suited and booted.
And you can’t trust it
I’m out of limbo.
And now you’re in my shoes.
Because….how was I to know for sure
I could hardly tell.
Now there’s no telling you different.

Cooler then the other side of the Chillow...

Commitment phobia? I had a conversation in the wee hours of the night about this phenomenon. I’ve come to my own conclusion that commitment phobia is not only a defense mechanism, but a cop out, a relationship fiction and euphemism for, “What I got going right now, just isn’t really what I’m looking for.” Let me address each, one at a time.
Defense mechanism: “I’m just a commitment phob, I feel the pressure, and I just want to get out.” To me that says, “I’m at a point with this person, where I have to give more, or get out. I’ve had bad experiences in the past where I’ve given my all, and I got burned, and I’m not willing to give more right now.” Very valid. Though I don’t understand, cause I can’t put every woman in the same boat, do they have common characteristics, yes, but will they all inevitably treat me the same, no. For example, you can put a thousand people in the same situation, and I bet you have a thousand different reactions to that situation. So how can you expect that two persons, who get together in complex human interaction, will create the same relationship? Furthermore, we have to look at ourselves, if you keep getting into relationships and they end badly or don’t go well, what is the common factor? YOU! Maybe you should evaluate the type of people you choose to associate with. But then again, maybe its everyone else’s fault. I say keep your guard up to a degree, but there comes a point you got to sacrifice yourself to find happiness.

Cop out: Sounds good. “Yeah we’re kicking it, I just wanna have fun right now. I’m really afraid of commitments.” Do you blame em, really? Probably getting out of the “kicking it” he/she would get out of the relationship anyway, why make it anything else?

“What I got going on right now, just isn’t what I’m looking for.”: Also, you just aint good enough. If you was really good enough, I wouldn’t be phobic about us, cause you’re all I need/want. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that there are people out there, that in the face of happiness they run the other way, cause they feel they don’t deserve to be happy. Furthermore, I understand there are cases of people, just being afraid of being tied down, but I think in general “commitment phobia” is 95% bull. For example, all your life you wanted to visit the Eiffel Tower, and you get a chance to do it, and all you gotta do is jump on the plane. Are you not going to jump on the plane? I hear you though, well things aren’t right right now, I want to go when I have more time to visit. I have to work on Monday, I’m going to have jet lag. Dang, that’s a seven hour flight, that’s a long flight. I don’t even speak French, how am I going to talk to people when I get there? Am I going to be in first class, I don’t fly coach. My point is, there will always be an excuse, the timing will never be right. I think the measure of a person lies in the ability to realize nothing is for sure, and life does pass us by.

“So when its time, its time, and hopefully I’m in the front of the line”

- Lou

Daddy

She had a father not a daddy he wasn’t there
Physically with no emotion its like he didn’t care
For attention she’d rebel
But he didn’t see
Too busy womanizing being the man she would later seek
Too much to handle so she search for daddy
IN the world she gave herself to find her worth
Ruined from the start
From her pants she gave her heart
Completely incomplete
Can mean only missing one piece
But its deeper then one could even see
She was sought after
But she couldn’t fulfill her need with what they sought
Her rock left, he wasn’t ready
Father.
She reminded him of his past,
Couldn’t stand to think
A man would treat her like something he once stood on
To walk over his angel
Her eyes reminded him of his sins
Of the father.
He wasn’t ready, because he wasn’t anyone’s rock.
Knew he was selfish, had for years
Told himself it was the best until he believed it
Now she searches for him,
But knows he’s long gone,
So she sought what he should have left her
In other men.
Oh, she was sought after
And was seeking on her own
Completely incomplete
But she couldn’t put her finger on that one piece
But what made her incomplete wasn’t what was missing
It was her dedicating her life to seeking what was already gone.

THORN

If you’d just hold on
I’d make the very command of your wish fade away
And be your shooting star
If you’d just hold on
My thoughts would wander in yours
And mesh because they belong together
If you’d hold on
We’d unravel our lives
Promising never to fold
Prove that love is not a losing game
I want to change your whole world
Shake it and stir
Inside and out
Highs lows and in between
Remove all thought of you letting go
Create in us a tie so strong
If you’d hold onto me
We’ll make us one
But you’d let go as sure as babies cry
My Beautifully painful thorn
We often adorn that which makes our hearts bleed
The beautiful woman silly men chase
Not every rose has its thorn
Sometimes they’re horns well placed
Pricking at your side
Through it all I held on
The tolerance for a pain now I feel nothing
But as sure as the past repeats itself
You let go
I dripped my joy as you pricked it

LISTEN (revisited)

I wish I could sing
We all do it seems
To fully express one’s feelings in song
Seems to hit home
Or strike a cord just right
Melody to know he’s into she
Or she’s into thee
Perhaps she’ll be or is into me
Forget a written note
I’d write a song made for her ear
To somewhere near that intangible feel
She couldn’t place, but just knew
Quibbling over where this feeling comes from only…
Breaks her high, she simply wants to know that this pleasing
Yet intense, yet uncertain
Simply expressed array of emotions
Which took her to a place of highs and lows
Was only for her
She gave and pulled back for fear the song would end
Or change to a different genre then when it started
The blues without the R
But I’d sing to her if only I could
Or if inside I knew she would listen
From a simple guitar
I'd pluck her strings
Fading into a whisper
And once we both knew,
It would be the song that kept our love enduring
Keeping us warm in the winter
If only she’d listen.

COLD

Moved against the grain
It made me tender, sore
Til I bore calluses
I pushed against her
Like a solid piece of ice
It left me tired and cold
Tried to wait until the sun came
But look where we are
In the shade
She’d been frozen for years
I chipped away but it’ll take years to erase
Oh how the cold-hearted with cold shoulders
Leave these walls
When its cold outside.
Its colder in my home
Left me numb
Leave or remain
Too long and I may become like her
Stricken and frost bitten

Indulgence

Is it selfish of me to want the things I want
To have the things I feel I ought
To have
To refute the teachings I’ve been taught
Indulge in my sinful nature
Just a little more then usual
To regret not acting
But acting, letting go of a frail existence of repentance
Substance abuse
To truly let loose
Come back when I’ve sewn my own death trap
Tempt fate
Veer off the path not so straight
Crooked, we took it and ran
Thieves in the night off to grow weary
Maybe to Japan,
Lotus, bringing sight
Its late at night, my screens bright
Holding tight to a sanity
I feel I could break at any minute
Stomach rumbling from the minutiae I’ve run from
Fumbling through a world I can’t and won’t understand
So I’ll just try to stand
I want you to let go of my hand
I’ll run, if I make it back we’ll lock again
Until then, I’ll make you ponder
From far away lands I’ll wander to be back faded to a shell
From the sea to fiery hell move back for it will engulf the masses
And leave a few to carry on
Until the refute those teachings
Out of the shaky ground
We’re seaping
Eroding fading to indulgence

Its a Song Story

Can you handle it?
I thought I could
She had me singing
You Make Me Better
I was with another, but I told her
You Make Me Wanna
Love is so Unpredictable
I was a Choosy Lover
Told my old flame it was the
End of the Road
She said she didn’t want to let go
It was unnatural, I belonged to her
My mind cloudy
So I took A Long Walk
Late, after dark, around the park
Came back realized there was a Stranger in My House
And it was me, came to the conclusion I should have left
Yesterday, how could I be so blind
All my troubles were in my face,
For so long I’d been so far away
Its nothing that will make you more Weak,
Then a Sister with Attitude
We fought it but it was too late
Water runs Dry
Told her I Tried to now
I Can’t Stay
Now Cupid had hit me, when I least expected
Stevie said, All in Love is Fair
New flame came
All I had to do was Say Yes
And I did.
Cupid whispered,Walk this Way
All the we had in Common, I had to Go
Our love was so sweet
Its Like Candy
She Knocks Me Off My Feet
She had me Daydreamin’
Phone conversations filled with
I Miss You’s
Can I Come Over’s
Wish U Were Here’s
Sweet blend of Pleasure and Pain
She was my Soul Sista
I Can’t Let Go
But Love is a Losing Game
All is Fair, life is a Circle
Love Changes
Guess if it didn’t I wouldn’t be
Singing This Song to YOU

DISHEARTENED

disheartened

I lost zeal
For the world I lived in
The car I drove
The clothes I wore
For the way I heal
For the way I breathed it seemed
The fancy she once tickled
For the feeling she once gave
I lost zeal
The round about way I disregard my thoughts
The way I hold onto love lost
When I’ve given enough time
For the way it costs
Over and over
I lost zeal
I lose zeal as I write
How three quarters down I stop
To reach a threshold before my thoughts undone
Cause I lost that feel
I get when an idea jogs my brain to jot down
From whence it came
I lost real zeal for the things that don’t matter
Yet I mourn for the trivial
Misplacing the introspection
Of a reflection, I’ve lost zeal for
Bruised, torn or battered
Why do we heal?
Battle scars, with character dug deep
Reminded which every scrap of the knee
Numb scars so deeply rooted in who we are
We wear them in our walk and talk
But blind to our own eye
I lost zeal for my inability to rationalize my current situation
Turned the corner on reality
Didn’t like it so I changed my mindstate
I lost zeal, on what it feels to be real
TK thanks

Now and again I wish I had a friend like me
We’d fight over the big things and squabble over the small
But we’d finish each others thoughts
And talk the same talk
Walk in each others shoes
So you could say our souls match
Attached we’d skip the hip and move to much more
From the beginning I’d be an open door
Come and go as you please
But you’d stay cause inside you’d say
Who could ask for more?

Carry

She gave me the motivation for creation
To spawn a new life full of fulfillment
Life with a intense drive
So alive, as I cruise
Refusing to live and let live
I live to let fate create
In me a new feeling
Minus the two steps and vocals
A new edition
Boys to men
In between she moved me forward
With no body rocking or knocking
Just roots, dug so deep in each other
We planted a love that even by the waters edge
Is never faltering
Hold still as we take a walk
Let me carry you
In between the lines
I cracked, she got me hanging on
To a dear life we’ll make together
Promise I won’t let go
Focus isn’t for the faint
I know you’re scared, we’re in it to spawn a new life
Full of fulfillment
Contentment we’ll never see again
Resentment for the time we can’t bring back
Wasted on trivial things
Hold still while we walk,
Let me carry you.

Untitled

Diminish all fear, for true determination comes from unwaivering faith in the things hoped for. I wrote on myself to remind me to look down, cause when this life wears you out, look to yourself to remind you that God works through you and he prevails always. Thought overcomes all ethnic, social, economic barriers, to think is to spark your mind which no one can take away.

The solace I feel as I kneel and pray
My tears weld inside
I had a revelation of a better way
My body’s a tablet
I wear scriptures on my arms
Knowing the Lord keeps his children out of Harms
Way.
I moved on a path, where the naysayers tried to bring me down
Even when my souls lost, not found
Everyone’s trying to make it to their own league
But don’t be cavalier
Shifting through the Bulls of the world
You bound to catch knicks
So bob and weave cats
Or get caught in the nets the naysayers cast
Yall niggas is some deceptacons
If you aint living what you preaching on
Your stories is reaching make a real nigga teach ya
Telling myths like a Leprecaun
You crafty like arts and straps
Until them shooters shoot back

Darkness

I tripped and fell into a depression
That at no question left me helpless
And stunted my dreaming.
Correlation of events brought on by a strong disdain
For dealing with pain.
Lazy mind state, caught in the gaze.
Pops saw it, no other but those who truly know.
Weight of the world doesn’t cripple me.
Their eyes were watching God,
As he stared back.
Thin lines blurred upon each stray.
Following one’s own creed,
No need to change as it passes from seed to seed.
Even blind eyes take heed.
They know because their darkness reminds them of their state
Destitute thinking masked by impressions of complacency
“just one of life lessons” mentality
Ruts dug so deep the darkness around you begins to look like home.
Unlike the blind you can change your darkness.

Perched

I would most definitely be texting effortlessly
But the time came when facing the music made me want to
Break dance to France
Do to robot to Woodstock
And do the Bankhead, to well…Bankhead
My fingers walked my walk
E-mail talked my talk
But when it was time for the rubber
To hit the road
I had two flats with one spare
Cause my power is in my hands
Not unlike Sampson and his hair
Delilah got me stuck
And normally I’d fade to black and not run amuck
But I’m sick of laying low
Perched on the ledge of a motto most men live by
Staring at your mothers and daughters
Inevitably chomping at the bit
“Let’s get it”
But I’ll stay perched on the edge
Of what seems to be the norm
And I wait patient while my own
Swoop down and lay waste
To a mass of women
Giving up their class
And I’ll rummage through and find one
Maybe one who got away
Or at least war wounds are few
Until then I’ll resign.
Let the soul of my dormant beast remain perched on that ledge
Cause I’ve seen his potential for laying waste
Let me digress.

CRACK

I subdued the frenzy
Cause the commotion had me wide open
In a fast paced world to go slow motion
Seems as though you’re standing still
But what better way to capture the painted picture
Untainted by the tenure I have
In the school of faded landscapes and broken
You fill in the blank
Page flipped everyday, same ink
I looked life in the face, it winked
Smirked, cause life’s funny that way
The commotion had me open wide
And while you slept
I two stepped my way to the OOO Whop
I endured until you stopped
And kept going.
Until I couldn’t see you in my dreams
Then I paused.
What better way to capture the painted picture.
And I saw you then.
A past I rewind when I want to go vintage
Like cassette tapes,
But our tape popped, tossed like garbage
But I know you’re a pact rat,
So you added while I subtracted.
And since the commotion had me wide open,
You fell into the cracks, it didn’t hurt my mom
But it broke your heart.
If I would have paused, I might have stepped lightly.

Computer Love

We’re programmed differently
Incompatible I found a glitch
So we shut down
Gave her the reboot
Tried to troubleshoot
Reset my mind right
Tried to degragment
But we still stagnate
Intel told me opposites attract
Paula cosigned
Abdul has been married twice
So why would I take her advice
Hesitant at first, tried to put up a wall
But the screen couldn’t save her
She got caught up in my trap
Its like I had a world wide web
I had her best intentions in mind
Thought our love would excel
I wanted to explore her
Only mind and spirit
Until I found the glitch
Now we’re back and forth
Issues nagging like pop ups
I prayed to block the drama
Here goes this cycle again
I put her in the recycle bin
Knew she was one click away
Never had the heart to empty
Always thought of a new Outlook
Express my Word, because its my bond
Linked, it lead my back to our home page
Where we started, before I discovered
She wanted control, alter my ways
Until they were deleted from my being.
So I had to escape.

Caged Bird

It's ironic how trapped the caged bird feels, longing to be free. It only singing because its crying for the freedom that it's very make-up equipped it for, to roam free. Ironic, how the paper lining the cage, tells the story of the world it longs to see. Bird's eye view.

Highway (Part I)

On the highway to heaven,
Do you to stop and grab a fourty
From the seven-eleven
Swerving lane to lane
Doing a buck and some change
Still the pit stops turn into the pits
Bobbing your head to the latest hits
Twisted.
Pulled off, onto the beaten path
Road a while
Tried to get back on track, off this exit
But missed it.
Wall-to-wall traffic met me, more to see.
But I was stuck off the exit, where I know I shouldn’t be.
Partied hard and late,
Epiphany, I woke early and snuck back.
I road clear path, things fell into place.
I tried to keep my eyes on the highway,
Dozed, and needed to stop.
Or so I thought, it was my way.
Lord told me, “Son, My way is the Highway”
I shrugged and got back off.
I needed a break, fought that urge.
I’d go harder then ever, splurge.
Get it out of my system.
Plus I wanted to get back to those I left
I missed them.
Secretly missing me too, hoping I'd come back
More company justifies the acts.

MELO

"Pride lifts you up with one hand buts it not strong enough to hold you steady. That muthaf***a always drops you. But its too hard to get down cause its always holding you in such a weird position."

• marchello gray

"Perspective is like getting pushed into the middle of the street."

• marchello gray

How do you start off something that you were born with.
Something that you were taught pre-crowning
You're the man, you're the best, dont cry be a big boy
Its like the secret ingredient in similac
Which explains why “They don't make em’ like they used to.”
To say that is an insult to God
HE does, but when we were winged from the nipple
We were forced to grow up too quick
Still thinking you cant fall even though mama aint holdin you up no more
With no laurels to rest on
So how do you get down when you aint got nothin to stand on
Grip and claw, survival of the most brutal
Cause theres only one person in the world to stay true to
But do you even know who you are?
And if you found out, would you really love you?
Not enough to stay true to a stranger
But as long as they love you , you aight....right?
As long as you glitter like gold.

*BOLD Constitutes marchello gray's words