When the only thing that made you cry was a scraped knee
Maybe a mean kid not sharing
Jumping off swings, double-dog-daring
Catching june bugs, sipping cool tea out of mugs
Foot races, kool-aid stained smiling faces
When things were easy and care-free
Running and rarely getting tired
Baths and swinging on tires
Bubble baths and sleepovers
Scary stories, “Red Rover, Red Rover”
Spreading your arms, imagining you can fly
Picking out images of clouds in the sky
Oh back then, when things were so simple.
Recess and May Day,
Thinking girls had the cooties,
Well some things never change.
Back then.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Remised
I teared up at the thought of a future I knew I couldn’t have
Amidst the hustle and bustle of life I lost my grasp
On what was important, and I knew it
Things were so fluid
I got washed away
In between the chaos, hard times I’d call on Him
I’d fast, I would pray
But just enough to quiet my own soul’s rumbling
I chalked up my stumbling to growing pains
To a growth stunting mentality of I’ll never be perfect
Oh but when it rains
It scorns.
Or breathes new life.
I remember when adversity was welcomed in my world
But as I look back, it only sprinkled then.
Now the rain comes as if it will never end.
Or at least it seems.
We can't explain the human heart and its battle with the mind.
I can’t find the time to unravel its rhyme
Or reason, because even with the seasons changing
And life rearranging
I still need you.
I’d be remised if I lied and told you I didn’t write this for you
I’d be remised if I told you I didn’t wake up longing for your kiss
If I didn’t long for that 15 seconds of bliss as I wake
15 seconds of ignorance to my current circumstance
15 seconds of heaven right here on earth
15 seconds of rebirth
Until I’m reminded I’m here living without you.
I pray that those seconds get longer.
Or my heart grows colder, grows stronger.
Amidst the hustle and bustle of life I lost my grasp
On what was important, and I knew it
Things were so fluid
I got washed away
In between the chaos, hard times I’d call on Him
I’d fast, I would pray
But just enough to quiet my own soul’s rumbling
I chalked up my stumbling to growing pains
To a growth stunting mentality of I’ll never be perfect
Oh but when it rains
It scorns.
Or breathes new life.
I remember when adversity was welcomed in my world
But as I look back, it only sprinkled then.
Now the rain comes as if it will never end.
Or at least it seems.
We can't explain the human heart and its battle with the mind.
I can’t find the time to unravel its rhyme
Or reason, because even with the seasons changing
And life rearranging
I still need you.
I’d be remised if I lied and told you I didn’t write this for you
I’d be remised if I told you I didn’t wake up longing for your kiss
If I didn’t long for that 15 seconds of bliss as I wake
15 seconds of ignorance to my current circumstance
15 seconds of heaven right here on earth
15 seconds of rebirth
Until I’m reminded I’m here living without you.
I pray that those seconds get longer.
Or my heart grows colder, grows stronger.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Sincerely Lost
Sincerity is a rarity
Or is it that we live in a world of consummate skepticism
Jaded realism and masked moments of clarity?
I welcome the sincere
But the sincere become cold
Hiding in the open
Too tired to give themselves
Siding with the faux to cope and
Longing for the shimmer of sincere hope and
Relieving themselves of hurt that sometimes sincerity brings
To smaller, petty, less human things
It’s easy to suppress emotions before they start
Lock away your heart
It’s simple to keep the feet on your heart nimble
Focusing on your body your temple
While the inside of that temple is frigid
Maintaining career, school and the shallow social is easy
But your heart’s complexity
Perplexes thee
So lock sincerity away
No lock and key
If someone finds it they won’t recognize it anyway
Lord keep my sincerity
"Sincerity is an openness of heart; we find it in very few people; what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win the confidence of others."
LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, Reflections
Or is it that we live in a world of consummate skepticism
Jaded realism and masked moments of clarity?
I welcome the sincere
But the sincere become cold
Hiding in the open
Too tired to give themselves
Siding with the faux to cope and
Longing for the shimmer of sincere hope and
Relieving themselves of hurt that sometimes sincerity brings
To smaller, petty, less human things
It’s easy to suppress emotions before they start
Lock away your heart
It’s simple to keep the feet on your heart nimble
Focusing on your body your temple
While the inside of that temple is frigid
Maintaining career, school and the shallow social is easy
But your heart’s complexity
Perplexes thee
So lock sincerity away
No lock and key
If someone finds it they won’t recognize it anyway
Lord keep my sincerity
"Sincerity is an openness of heart; we find it in very few people; what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win the confidence of others."
LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, Reflections
Monday, May 18, 2009
Boat
I grew weary of the way this thing was progressing
Grew tired of the commotion, hard feelings and stressing
I knew if God was testing I was failing fast
My heart was sailing fast
To a place it had never been before
True I felt heartache, heart break but never like this
My heart was jumping like a hyper kid in mid-summer church service
Hot as a furnace
My friends tried to wave the fans of "Let God handle it"
But I was intent on letting this hyper active desire consume me
Besides as soon as I was alone the fans just reminded me where I was
Bound by the decisions of another
Diced, chopped, smothered and covered
Is how this made my heart felt
No question my plea is heart felt
All along I figured I had it all figured
Who would have thought I'd pursue the unpursuable with so much vigor
So slow usually to pull the trigger, but with her mine was hair-pin
Let it go, if I could only care when
I wanted.
Now my love is on a platter, flaunted.
Picked at and laid flat.
I'm a boat.
If only she could toss me back or take me home.
I'd surely take either.
Oh how I long to see her.
Grew tired of the commotion, hard feelings and stressing
I knew if God was testing I was failing fast
My heart was sailing fast
To a place it had never been before
True I felt heartache, heart break but never like this
My heart was jumping like a hyper kid in mid-summer church service
Hot as a furnace
My friends tried to wave the fans of "Let God handle it"
But I was intent on letting this hyper active desire consume me
Besides as soon as I was alone the fans just reminded me where I was
Bound by the decisions of another
Diced, chopped, smothered and covered
Is how this made my heart felt
No question my plea is heart felt
All along I figured I had it all figured
Who would have thought I'd pursue the unpursuable with so much vigor
So slow usually to pull the trigger, but with her mine was hair-pin
Let it go, if I could only care when
I wanted.
Now my love is on a platter, flaunted.
Picked at and laid flat.
I'm a boat.
If only she could toss me back or take me home.
I'd surely take either.
Oh how I long to see her.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Tugging
She had such a grip
Tight lipped when she slipped through
Couldn't help but be blue
The thought of not being able to make her rainy days anew
My sun would shine through if only she really knew
She had a pull
She kept me full of a longing
Intriguing
She'd tug at me rather she was near or not
At random I'd feel what was her phantom
Perfume or sweet smile
Wacky laugh
I'll never be the same
Oh how the aftermath I pray is loves true grasp
I pray at last
This isn't just a crossing of paths
Tight lipped when she slipped through
Couldn't help but be blue
The thought of not being able to make her rainy days anew
My sun would shine through if only she really knew
She had a pull
She kept me full of a longing
Intriguing
She'd tug at me rather she was near or not
At random I'd feel what was her phantom
Perfume or sweet smile
Wacky laugh
I'll never be the same
Oh how the aftermath I pray is loves true grasp
I pray at last
This isn't just a crossing of paths
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